Good For Nothing Slave Productions

A brother asked me the following question recently during an interview:

“If you were to die today, would you know for sure that you would go to heaven to be with Jesus forever?”

I answered “I think so” with a doubtful screech in my voice, but to be completely honest, the most appropriate answer should have been “I really don’t know.”

There are many reasons for my uncertainty, which I think many people may feel the same.  so I thought I’d write this post to go over the reasons in hopes of bringing comfort to those that have similar doubts at times.

On a side note, I actually wrote a more concise devotional on this topic of “Once saved, always saved” awhile back; however, I have decided to expound on it a bit further. Feel free to check out the previous devotional using the link below if you are interested:

https://www.gfnsproductions.org/apps/blog/show/9980176-once-saved-always-saved-

For one, I know that I was sealed with God’s Holy Spirit when I first believed, and repented if my sins at the age of 18. I could feel and see the noticeable differences in my mind, body, heart and desires upon coming into a relationship with Yahweh God through faith in His son Yeshua’s ransom sacrifice. I repented of my sins and endeavored to live the remainder of my life for God; nevertheless, I didn’t always live up to that promise. I’ve blundered and purposely returned to serious sins so many times since then to the point that I often wonder if God’s Holy Spirit is still within me. For I am certain that I have indeed “grieved the Holy Spirit of God, in whom [I] was sealed for the day of redemption” on numerous occasions since my conversion (Ephesians 4:30).

I think of the case when God’s Holy Spirit left King Saul after he started to rebel and becoming prideful during his later years although the Holy Spirit had come upon him mightily initially after he was anointed. Instead, he was eventually given a tormenting spirit (1 Kings 10:6-7,9-10;13:13-14,16:14). In the same sense, I too suffer with occasional mental/emotional tormenting episodes on a regular basis (about once every other year). During those episodes, I can’t sleep for days/weeks due to anxiety, fear, and paranoia which eventually led me to be diagnosed with bipolar/ manic-depression. However, I sometimes think these are perhaps symptoms of my underlying spiritual conditions similar to the case of King Saul.

That being said, evil and wicked men were not the only one to experience such turmoil of the kind and brain in the Bible. I think of what the Apostle Paul, a disciple of Jesus that wrote the majority of the letters/books in the New Testament, and I’m encouraged. He dealt with similar cases of sleepless nights, mental anguish, and other infirmities that I’ve experienced only since the time I became a believer. Please see examples below:

“By reason of the exceeding greatness of the revelations, that I should not be exalted excessively, a thorn in the flesh was given to me: a messenger of Satan to torment me, that I should not be exalted excessively. Concerning this thing, I begged the Lord three times that it might depart from me. He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Most gladly therefore I will rather glory in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest on me. Therefore I take pleasure in weaknesses, in injuries, in necessities, in persecutions, and in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then am I strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10) 

“I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm. If I must boast, I would rather boast about the things that show how weak I am. God, the Father of our Lord Jesus, who is worthy of eternal praise, knows I am not lying.” (2 Corinthians 11:27, 30-31)

During a recent Mental Health night at our church, a brother (who also happens to be a therapist), stated that mental/emotional health issues may be related more to childhood trauma and other factors versus demonic oppression. That was somewhat encouraging to hear for I indeed went through several cases of childhood trauma during my adolescent and teenage years. In fact, I actually wrote about my youth in my written & musical autobiographies titled, “The Book of Keax, the death story of Nicolas Joachim.” & “Immigrant Story”. Click respective links below to read a free electronic copy (hard copies also available on most online retail bookstores) & listen to the mix tape:

https://gfnsproductions.org/documents/TheBookofKeax.pdf

https://on.soundcloud.com/FszEHAgnipBfWC3H6

Despite the explanation provided by my brother in Christ, I sometimes still have doubts on account of the numerous times that I’ve backslidden since after my initial conversion. These doubts are further exacerbated when I read the following verses: 

“Beloved, now we are children of God. It is not yet revealed what we will be; but we know that when he is revealed, we will be like him, for we will see him just as he is. Everyone who has this hope set on him purifies himself, even as he is pure. Everyone who sins also commits lawlessness. Sin is lawlessness. You know that he was revealed to take away our sins, and no sin is in him. Whoever remains in him doesn’t sin. Whoever sins hasn’t seen him and doesn’t know him. Little children, let no one lead you astray. He who does righteousness is righteous, even as he is righteous. He who sins is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. To this end the Son of God was revealed: that he might destroy the works of the devil. Whoever is born of God doesn’t commit sin, because his seed remains in him, and he can’t sin, because he is born of God. In this the children of God are revealed, and the children of the devil. Whoever doesn’t do righteousness is not of God, neither is he who doesn’t love his brother.” (1 John 3:2-10)

“For there is no longer any sacrifice that will take away sins if we purposely go on sinning after the truth has been made known to us. Instead, all that is left is to wait in fear for the coming Judgement and the fierce fire which will destroy those who oppose God! Anyone who disobeys the Law of Moses is put to death without any mercy when judged guilty on the evidence of two or more witnesses. What, then, of those who despise the Son of God? who treat as a cheap thing the blood of God's covenant which purified them from sin? who insult the Spirit of grace? Just think how much worse is the punishment they will deserve!” (Hebrews 10:26-29)

“For concerning those who were once enlightened and tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Spirit, and tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then fell away, it is impossible to renew them again to repentance; seeing they crucify the Son of God for themselves again, and put him to open shame. For the land which has drunk the rain that comes often on it and produces a crop suitable for them for whose sake it is also tilled, receives blessing from God; but if it bears thorns and thistles, it is rejected and near being cursed, whose end is to be burned.” (Hebrews 6:4-8)

Still, the author does go on to say in the following verses in an effort to ease those burdened down with guilty consciences such as myself:

“Dear friends, even though we are talking this way, we really don’t believe it applies to you. We are confident that you are meant for better things, things that come with salvation. For God is not unjust. He will not forget how hard you have worked for him and how you have shown your love to him by caring for other believers, as you still do (Hebrews 6:9-10)

Or perhaps we remember the words of the apostles John & Peter, Jesus’ best friends on earth, who wrote:

“if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.” (1 John 3:20)

“Beloved, don’t be astonished at the fiery trial which has come upon you to test you, as though a strange thing happened to you. But because you are partakers of Christ’s sufferings, rejoice, that at the revelation of his glory you also may rejoice with exceeding joy.” (1 Peter 4:12-13)

In fact, just listen to an conversation between Jesus & Simon (aka Peter), when they first met:

“But Simon Peter, when he saw [Jesus’ miracle of catching a bunch of fish], fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, Lord.” and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon. Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid. From now on you will be catching people alive.””

(Luke 5:8, 10)

That being said, I do want to note that grace is not a license for loving a life of sin. There is indeed punishment for the believer and non-believer who chooses a course of rebellion regardless of their knowledge of the one true God. Besides being plagued with a guilty conscience, they are also subject to the same punishment as Satan & His demons: Please reference the verses below for more information:

“For the time has come for judgment to begin with the household of God. If it begins first with us, what will happen to those who don’t obey the Good News of God? “If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will happen to the ungodly and the sinner?” (1 Peter 4:17-18)

“Now I would not have you ignorant, brothers, that our fathers were all under the cloud, and all passed through the sea; and were all baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea; and all ate the same spiritual food; and all drank the same spiritual drink. For they drank of a spiritual rock that followed them, and the rock was Christ. However with most of them, God was not well pleased, for they were overthrown in the wilderness. Now these things were our examples[warnings], to the intent we should not lust after evil things as they also lusted. Don’t be idolaters, as some of them were. As it is written, “The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play.” Let’s not commit sexual immorality, as some of them committed, and in one day twenty-three thousand fell. Let’s not test Christ, as some of them tested, and perished by the serpents. Don’t grumble, as some of them also grumbled, and perished by the destroyer. Now all these things happened to them by way of example, and they were written for our admonition, on whom the ends of the ages have come. Therefore let him who thinks he stands be careful that he doesn’t fall.? (1 Corinthians 10:1-12) 

“I don’t even trust my own judgment on this point. My conscience is clear, but that doesn’t prove I’m right. It is the Lord himself who will examine me and decide. So don’t make judgments about anyone ahead of time—before the Lord returns. For he will bring our darkest secrets to light and will reveal our private motives.Then God will give to each one whatever praise is due.” (1 Corinthians 4:3b-5)

“So then, my beloved, even as you have always obeyed, not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God who works in you both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” ((Philippians 2:12-13) 

“if by any means* I may attain to the [first] resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained, or am already made perfect; but I press on, that I may take hold of that for which also I was taken hold of by Christ Jesus. Brothers, I don’t regard myself as yet having taken hold, but one thing I do: forgetting the things which are behind and stretching forward to the things which are before, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Let us therefore, as many as are perfect, think this way. If in anything you think otherwise, God will also reveal that to you. Nevertheless, to the extent that we have already attained, let’s walk by the same rule. Let’s be of the same mind.” (Philippians 3:11-16)

* The apostle uses the language of humble expectation. For the particles, "if by any means" (εἴ πως), comp. Acts 27:12; Romans 1:10; Romans 11:14. [Pulpit] Not an expression of doubt, but of humility. [Vincent] This denotes the struggle of Paul’s faith [Bengel’s Gnomen]

“For if, after they have escaped the defilement of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in it and overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first. For it would be better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than after knowing it, to turn back from the holy commandment delivered to them.” (2 Peter 2:20-21)

“Or don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit God’s Kingdom? Don’t be deceived. Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor extortionists, will inherit God’s Kingdom. Some of you were such, but you were washed. You were sanctified. You were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and in the Spirit of our God.” (1 Corinthians 6:9-11) 

“Pay attention to yourself and to your teaching. Continue in these things, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you.” (1 Timothy 4:16 )

“The devil who deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet are also. They will be tormented day and night forever and ever. If anyone was not found written in the book of life, he was cast into the lake of fire.” (Revelation 20:10, 15) 

And most importantly, our Lord Jesus who stated:  “But he who endures to the end will be saved.”  (Matthew 24:13)

““Not everyone who calls me ‘Lord, Lord’ will enter the Kingdom of heaven, but only those who do what my Father in heaven wants them to do. When Judgement Day comes, many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord! In your name we spoke God's message, by your name we drove out many demons and performed many miracles!’ Then I will say to them, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you wicked people!’” (Matthew 7:21-23)

““Also, the Kingdom of heaven is like this. Some fishermen throw their net out in the lake and catch all kinds of fish. When the net is full, they pull it to shore and sit down to divide the fish: the good ones go into their buckets, the worthless ones are thrown away. It will be like this at the end of the age: the angels will go out and gather up the evil people from among the good and will throw them into the fiery furnace, where they will cry and grind their teeth.” (